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I want to educate some people.

Journal Entry: Wed Sep 12, 2012, 11:23 PM

I want to educate some people.

If you decide to read, thank you. I hope no one takes offense to this and has an open mind when reading. If you don't read this, fine. Just don't be surprised if you end up doing what I'm about to explain, you get snapped at for it somewhere down the road.

It is common curtousy to not question someone you don't really know. Right?

For example:

You're walking down the street and see a gentleman in a wheelchair with cuts and scars all over.

Typical initial reaction: Oh, that person has been through something to make him that way. Try not to stare and continue about your business.


tell me...
Why would you do it on the internet...?

Is it because it's the internet and you feel like you can just ask away whatever you want without the consequences of hurting someone's feelings? Are you even thinking at all when you ask these things? Or do you just not give a shit and just want answers to ease your curiosity?

Understood, people may care and want to know so they can help, but it's common sense that the person with something different already knows that they are different. You don't have to point it out or question it as if it's something bad. Just like you wouldn't go up to a random handicapped person and ask things to their face.

You simply don't need to ask.


Because it's common courtesy.

It's being polite.

It's keeping your nose out of places it doesn't belong.

Curiously asking about it is risking hurting someone's feelings. Usually people don't want to risk hurting another person's feelings, however, "curiosity kills the cat" as they say. & people still stick their nose where it doesn't belong despite knowing that they could be hurting someone's feelings in the process.

Would you like people.. friends.. family.. strangers.. to constantly point out, "Hey, what is wrong with your face? What is wrong with your skin? Ew." Etc.

I do not fucking think so.

So stop and think before you go and question what is "wrong" with someone's body.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong. There may be cuts or scars, burns or bruises, but there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a person because of it.

So stop asking as if it's a problem.

It's not.

It's just how people are sometimes.
They can't help it if they have eczema, extreme acne, missing a limb, have to wear an eye patch (no kids, I'm not referring to Ciel), or have to be in a wheelchair, & so on.

Respect the fact that they are unique, but don't point it out so damn much. It's not like they have no fucking clue about their own body. It's not like they don't have to deal with seeing their own body every single day and have to cope with accepting themselves or have low self-esteem already. People have gone through Hell and back. You pointing it out & questioning it does NOT help.

If you have read this far, thank you. I appreciate it & I hope you learned something or already knew not to ask such things to people out of respect.
& apologies for the foul language. But really, I want you to understand my frustration. This journal isn't even about me. It's about everyone I know & love who have to deal with these things daily. I want to wrap them in a bubble and protect them from stupidly curious people, but I simply can't. The best I can do is educate as many people as I can.

  • Mood: Irritated
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Mint-bear Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2013
You and your thoughts are inspirational and freaking refreshing to see. 
LunaticsDelight Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Student General Artist
I know exactly what you mean. I have had people come up to me and ask questions as well and it is not fun, to put it lighty. -Isn't up to sharing openly here, but fully understands the point you are making-
justmenobodyelse12 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012
kittyxmice Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amen hun.
KaitoNagisa Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree 100% with this journal.
Sadly, this world is so big and selfish, I know at least more than one people is going to ignore it, and continue being bastards to people.
I was not educated like that. Be it on the internet or outside, you should never talk badly or point out someone's imperfections, i mean, no one's perfect.
I don't know how they can keep thinking so highly of them when they point out something in someone's persona.
I sometimes act all pridefull and powerfull and stuff, but that's just when I roleplay, and i still do not hurt other people.
It hurts me to hurt other people.
And it should also hurt those who do this, this abomination of being jerks to people's persona.

I love your journal, and way of being so honest and educated, people like us, good people, are only little on this world.
cherryblossom16 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
I have a personal similar problem with my face too. I've been dealing with it for years now and have to go to treatment every month. Thankfully is slowly going away but I've been having to deal with people through the years being rude about it, being afraid to sit next to me because of it. It's not even contagious and people act like total dicks about it. Recently someone went over to me and asked me "If you eat this or do this, do you get that?" and I felt horrible because the person was a total stranger, I mean if someone close to me was curious or whatever then it might have been easier to deal with but I just felt 10x lower about myself than I already do. I'm sorry your friend has to deal with those kind of things too. It truly is horrible.
Rosaviii Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very beautiful post. <3 And you don’t have to apologize for the foul language dear. There are some things that just need to be said. >_> I also know what it’s like to be bullied and picked on. In high school I was accused of being a lesbian along with my cousin (not that that’s a bad accusation LOL but homophobia can be quite dangerous) because we were always together and neither of us wasted our time chasing after guys. I had other interests and I was an all around nerd so I was focused on going to college and creating art. People can be so hateful towards others who are perceived as different because they are ‘conditioned by the system.’ So like you said, all we can do is try to educate as many people as possible.
secretlibra39 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
omg ikr? I'll admit I use to do that but i stopped after making one of my (now) friends cry. i didnt realized how i came off before but now i just let people explain when THEY bring stuff up. before that i just take my time to get to know them and enjoy learned new things aboutr them ^^
UniqueEnigma Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012  Student General Artist
Those who seem blind see the most in people..
Men whom insist they are wise are the biggest of fools

You wrapped this up rather nicely, and I say that the profanity was needed. Today's generation seems to have someone getting upset or sticking a knife in their heart to figure out "Ohh, so that's what I'm doing wrong" I still don't understand cyber bullying, to me those who use their own name are hurting their own image, and becoming even more ugly, and those using fake accounts are not only ugly on the inside, they are cowards too.
MochiNeko42 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
so many feels
Why must this be so true?!
I've got this thing called vitiligo that in a short story, screws with the coloration in your skin, so pretty much i have patches of skin mostly on my knees, feet, elbows with no color at all, white as printer paper. I've had so many people just com up to me and make rude remarks about me bleaching my skin, when 1. I do not bleach my skin and 2. You don't know me, you don't know if I bleach my skin or just have some rare skin thingymerhur

Thanks Lala, Every time I see something of yours especially the things like this, my faith in humanity restores itself a little c:
Sara-Chama Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012
I completely agree with you. :] I've been bullied for the majority of my life. People would insult me to my face, or do it behind my back, start rumours, try to plan events and set me up in their traps, messing with my mind. Some would pull my hair, tie it in knots, some would throw their lunch at me, throw dirt and rocks at me, punch/slap me, kick soccer balls in my face, bite me, etc. I've even been cyber bullied. I'm so glad that you made this journal, and I hope more people have the chance to read it. Because so many need to learn how easily you can hurt somebody's feelings. Even if they're just a passerby stranger or a cyber bully on the other side of the world.
ArtificialCannibal Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist

I completely agree with everything stated in this journal and I really wish more people would take your advice.
Orichin Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you.


i was burned when i was a little girl in my arm so everyone just kind of look's at me and says rude thing's and then don't even try to know me, i fell lonely at school cause there's not even one nice person in my class that even want's to be my friend everyone is like "hey here comes they kid with the weird arm" i'm truly a nice person i'm not rude and i respect everyone i don't do nothing wrong...

thank you for this
it's just really goes to show that there are nice people in this world
XxFollowedOro Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012
Thank you.
BlackButlerCosplayer Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I get what your saying, I have some REALLY bad streach marks from when my hips were growing and they haven't faded yet. Ever since, girls I've known for six or seven years now tease me about them when we get ready for gym. One even had the nerve to ask me who knocked me up! Just because I was out at the park with my younger cousin! I'm thirteen! I have never had a boyfriend in my life! Just cause my breasts and hips are wider than yours doesn't mean you can treat me like some whore!
So when they were harassesing me at grad in June, I slapped one of them in the face and told them to have a nice day.
ShokuxToki Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Lala-san, thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for posting this!! And I completely agree with everything you've said here! My best friend can probably relate to this best since she gets picked on all the time for being... gifted. She was harassed at her previous job by some of the customers and the manager that she had didn't really do anything about it and I KNOW she got upset because of the comments they made.
But this is something that needed to be said and I appreciate the fact that you have said it! Do you mind if I send the link of this to my best friend for her to read?
LALASOSU2 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I don't mind at all! ♥
patriot-of-death Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer

unfortunately all this is true about those who just wont shut up about things. I mean, if it really really makes someone curious, can't they get to know the person in a better level. Maybe they find out they are something other than those questions they had in mind and will even forget them after getting to know them or seeing the things they've been through.

But you know, I guess that's what people are sometimes. Some speak without thinking, or don't think deep enough before speaking. Others may get educated, but it wont always mean they will use that education for a better purpose.

xXObscuraXx Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
i compleatly agree. thank you for this beautiful and intalectual post.
Otakuwolf329 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
I'm glad there are people like you in the world Lala, I've been in too many situations *especially back in high school* where someone would be bullied for how they look or act. I sometimes wonder why so many people don't already know this.
MotherMcKarther Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you
NejiHyuuga215 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
Hey everyone i have an idea, if someone is rude or ignorant to you or a friend, don't be the same way back, simply smile and say "hope the rest of your day goes better" because sometimes people don't realize that they're being rude, if someone is having a bad day, sometimes they take it out on people who have NOTHING to do with what happened, so if you in a kind way, point it out that this is how they're coming off, they might just realize it and stop

Lala i really want to thank you, i know i ramble on (sorry i get that from my father....) but i support what your saying, people need to stop pointing out something thats different, no one looks the same, even identical twins are different, and to tell me differently is a lie. NO-ONE has anything wrong with them, we are all unique and beautiful in our own way and we should let that shine
SelfParadox Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012

THANK YOU, LALA. Thank you very much.
NejiHyuuga215 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
Well Lalasosu2 i agree with you on being polite (no offence to anyone reading this, i'm not pointing fingers at you and saying your one of these people, but think about this, there ARE people out there so don't assume i'm pointing a finger at you)

Having said that, where i live, its a RARE to find polite people, doesn't matter if i go out of town to another town to shop, doesn't matter if i go across the boarder to shop, people are rude (not everyone once again no offence i'm not pointing fingers) Please and Thank you seem to be a thing of the past when it comes to kids these days (so i find) i had a customer at work today, instead of saying to me "can you please get those earrings out so i may see them?" she tapped the glass very hard and said "show me them" i felt like saying to her "a please would be great" but said nothing, i did as she asked and that was that, she didn't like the price of them so i told her "i don't make the prices i just put the stock out" she didn't like THAT either "we'll see, i might come back for them" needless to say i honestly don't care if your coming back for them or not lady, i don't want to hear you complain about the price when i simply (not rudely mind you) stated the fact that i myself do not make the prices.

People come into the store i work at all the time to shop, and i am thankful to those who are patient and who are kind, because if i've had a string of rude people one after another then get a kind one, all those rude people don't matter anymore, this one kind person made my day better.

So i have a question for you ALL of you reading this - do you honestly think before you speak or act? and before you answer "YES" or think "YES" i want you to know this, over 50% of you who automatically answered yes just failed, because you didn't THINK about it, you just answered. NOW world, i think it would be a better idea to spread kindness instead of hate, there's more shit going on it the world like wars and natural disasters and poverty that we really don't need more to add to all this mess. So i'm going to tell you all what my mother taught me - treat others how you want to be treated, because you'll find if your rude and mean, they'll be the same back, but if your kind and understanding, then you'll see you'll get alot further in life then you will being rude and mean. Use your brain people, god gave you all one for a reason you know.
OutsideTheBox11 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012

something to add, if I may. Staring is the same as asking questions like that. I have a friend who wears braces on her legs and walks differently from everyone else. She also has crutches to help her walk. She's a very normal, very happy person. And she's a great friend. But when I help carry her things from class to class, I notice a lot of people stare. Or even when we are just walking around the town she lives in. People stare. Was no one taught not to stare when they were little? I sure was. It's rude. :/
NejiHyuuga215 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
i agree, i can understand them having a look to see that your helping your friend out and even if they smile because your doing something kind and doing something nice for someone, but i agree its rude to stare i was taught not to stare
potterphantom13 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
Thank you so, SO much for posting this. :heart:
Furzzy15 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Student
This is one of the best journals I have read. I know what it's like to be asked those questions, and it's not fun. I'm blind in my left eye, and it looks very different from my right, and people ask me all the time what is wrong with it, and most of the time it's in person too! So thank you so much for this journal! It really means a lot to me to know that there are people out there who stand against this sort of treatment.
xxDraconikaxx Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I agree. I used to cosplay but many people keep commenting on my eczema on my arms and commenting on how I should cover it in makeup if I do cosplay. I have had my eczema since I was 6 and nothing has seemed to help and makeup just makes it worse. It sometimes looks as though it is about to finally clear sometimes, but then comes back twice as bad so I never had a 'good day' to do it. I was thinking of doing cosplay again, I have a Alice: Madness Returns cosplay I have yet to use <3
NejiHyuuga215 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
I say if you want to cosplay, do it, i know it doesn't mean much coming from me, i don't wear dresses or short sleeved shirts because i'm self concious, if i think people will look at me weird and i'm all by myself out in public i don't do it. But i have to stop that, so i say if you want to cosplay, don't hid your arms, if you don't want to hide your arms don't, you have to live in your skin and i have to live in mine, i think we should just go at this full throttle and do it no matter what people think or say
xxDraconikaxx Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Thank you hun, this has made me feel so much better! I agree, it is time to say "Bugger them! I will do it no matter what! <3" I shall cosplay and I shall show my arms~ I have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide.

I will be doing my Alice cosplay! And I will be bloody good at it! <3


NejiHyuuga215 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012
Well then! be sure to post some alice pictures of your cosplay! i wanna see you rock it girl!
xxDraconikaxx Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I shall when it is done! <3 Thank you for making me want to get back into it again!
NejiHyuuga215 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Awe your welcome, but seriously! :) don't stop doing what you love
xLadyAllyx Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Student General Artist
I really like how you have told people about this. I also don't understand why people do this. It IS very stupid. I think everybody is unique in their own way, like you Lala! I love you (and Hannah <3) because of the way you that you are, you are different, I love you guys because of that! This is sort of going off track, but I have always been bullied through high school because "I am too ugly, and I have no friends." One person had asked me if I have bipolar (intense mood swings) because sometimes I have a good day and other days are bad (just like everybody else). That is not for other people to decide. I have many friends and they love me and I love them. Overall I think that people should just mind their own business and just carry on with their lives. What I really just want to say is BE UNIQUE, BE DIFFERENT, BE YOU!

I feel like I have just written an essay.... Did I pass?
Ok, LOVE YOU LALA! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! It really does mean a lot when you do this! I enjoy reading your journals!! xx. <3
Sabriel-chan Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I get that all the time, but I do get it in real life. I was born half blind among other things and I get very sick of people asking "are you looking at me?" I should just wear a name tag that says "YES I am looking at you!!!"

I think people are going to be ignorant and hurtful on and off the net, unfortunately for many it's their nature. Many people are very judgemental. Thank the Gods for people who are not!
Moonmonsterrawr Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I really appreciate this journal, there're so many people out there who don't even realize how disrespectful and rude they're being, and this could really educate them. People think that just because they're online and you can't see their face that suddenly their God and they can say whatever tickles their fancy. It surprises me the bluntness and rudeness of people when they're online. I've even caught myself becoming more bold over the internet and I have to remind myself that there's another human on the other end. Anyways, sorry for the paragraph comment x.x basically I just want to say thank you for posting this journal, you rock Lala :)
lifeless-romance Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012
It's so common to see people like that now... it really kills me inside and my faith in humanity is just's absolutely shocking...

Lalasosu... do you mind if I share it and credit/tag you on facebook to give you credit? You pretty much said everything I've been trying to hold back and say for a /very/ very long time.
LALASOSU2 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sure, go ahead! ♥
lifeless-romance Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
Yay :D <3
AnimeNightFall3 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Student Artist
i completely agree to this. i have the same problem.
i will say this little bit, my back is kinda screwed up that i have to get treatment done for it,
its been bugging me for years now, i told my true friend on whats wrong with my back and not to tell anyone which she didn't.
i try to hide it so i don't have to go through hearing "why is your back screwed up", "whats wrong with your back", everyday i have the same problem,
i know i shouldn't listen to them, i don't really care hearing it even if people are bulling me, but it gets so irritating hearing it.
i'm glad you put this message out lala, it helps other people understand on what people like me have to go through.

~Thank you lala ^^
justmenobodyelse12 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012
Perfect! *claps* even if I don't have a disability, I make friends with them but finally someone who points it out! You really are an awesome and smart person
Feartakyuubi Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Student General Artist
Even when it's not a physical question and about one's emotional state, it can be just as bad. The questions get extremely old and tiring after the first time, especially when you're already not in the mood to answer them at all. Ach...
TheScreamingCricket Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
no words can describe how much this means to me. i have scars from where i've cut myself. they've faded a lot but when they were still pretty visible i DREADED the thought of anyone asking me about them. i do my best not to make my friends feel that way. when i talk about some of my friends to my mom, some of the time she'll ask me a number of questions about their lives that i have no idea what the answer is. why? because i dont give a shit about the pasts that made them who they are (whether they're good or bad) i only care about their hearts that reached out to mine, the personality that makes me smile, and the future with them that i hope to be very bright. i dont need to know about what schools they went to, their relationships with their parents or other family, their jobs or whatever else may be questioned. I. DON'T. GIVE. A. FUCK. i love them for who they are just as i would want them to love ME the way I AM! NOT if i went to a certain school or had a certain job. i think it's better to push EVERY difference and insignificant detail of the past to the side and just be kind and loving
Xme11o-ye11oX Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012
Thank you so much for bringing this to attention. This is one of my biggest pet peeves, and I wish
more people could have some common sense and be polite to these people.
Miraveldi Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012
Thank you for pointing this out.

I really wish people had the courtesy not to ask about my scars so rudely, and worse, I'm referring to real life examples. I don't get this problem in the internet 'cause I never show my face. I guess that's one good thing about anonymity.
TwinTsukuyomi Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you, Lala. I'm glad someone understands that you can't just point that kind of stuff out knowing it could hurt someone. Some people are just very inconsiderate and selfish. I hope people that do these terrible things wake the fff- Dx ..hell up and realize the damage they're causing. I'm really glad you dedicated a whole journal to this but you would because you're such a caring person. ;-;
AnimeNerd991 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Student Interface Designer
totally agree with you... I get awkward stares all the time from people when I'm with my brother (he is non verbal and has autism) and it just makes me want to lose my mind, I feel like every time I'm with him people find this need to stare at me and my family, its like can't you just mind your business, or do you want me to put on a big show for you. so I completely agree with you that some people need to learn how to be polite and show respect.

sorry for the ranty-ness of this comment, figured I might as well tell someone, who kinda understands..
BunnyMeroko Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This just exploding w/the truth, it really is no ones business to ask such personal questions over the internet, even when you really know the person I feel the touchy subjects are best left alone unless the person themself brings it up than its obviously okay to talk about, I work in retail and then my mother works in a nursing home so i've seen alot of people who have obviously gone through a lot, and you just DO NOT STARE OR ASK its just plane rude and it just makes the person feel horrible about themself possibly more than they alrdy do even. I completely agree w/you Lala and am SO glad that you took the time to write this journal :)
SasuBeastastic Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012
Do you want to know what, people get scared when they experience another's reaction, facial expressions, voice tone and body language. Across a computer you get non of that. You can say anything you want to and all you'd get back is 1- nothing or 2-words that you read blankly.
It's terrible. The internet is terrible. It makes people so ignorant. Thinking that what they say, whether they meant it in a harmful way or not, is offensive. In real life, you're right, no one would say or ask anything. Unless they didn't have the right of mind. For example, if I saw you or Hannah at an anime convention, would I be brave enough to even say hi? Heck no? (cosplayers make me really nervous.. Even though I am one. It doesn't make sense) But how easy is it to talk to you over the internet like I've at least met you face to face. Very. It's the sad and terrible truth... ">_<

Oh, on a side not, I JUST recently found out you are a Danny Phantom fan. :iconpervydannyphantomplz: I've been one for about.... 2 years now? XD (oh my stupid emo wanna be stage) and I was wondering -shy Hinata finger poke- what you think of the couple VlaDanny? >////<
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